What I've Lost
by miSSmeliSS1324124
Summary: You don't know what you take for granted until its gone.


Kendall held his face in his hands as he leaned against the wall. He was barely listening to the doctor who was standing in front of them. He wasn't sure if he was in shock or if it was his concussion but his head was aching and the world around him seemed to be spinning.

"Kendall?" Kendall looked up lazily at his two friends Carlos and James. Carlos had his left arm in a cast and sling with bruises littering his face. The usual well kept James was covered with cuts and bruises. Out of all of them his injuries were the least severe.

"What is it James?"

"You need to snap out of it. Logan is going to wake up soon. He needs us to stay calm for him."

"Stay Calm? How can I stay calm? You were in there you saw what happened to him!" James swallowed hard going slightly pale at the memory. He shook his head and let out a sigh.

"I know this is messed up but right now we don't matter." Kendall sighed and leaned back against the wall.

"I don't even know how I'm going to tell him. I don't know if I can bear to see his face when he realizes…" Kendall stopped and they all turned toward the end of the hall when they heard a loud scream. Without hesitation they were all running toward Logan's room. Kendall was the first inside.

He felt a chill go down his spin when he spotted the state Logan was in. He was sitting up in the hospital bed with the blanket pulled off. He was staring toward the end of the bed wide eyed. One hand was still gripping the sheet while the other hovered in the air shaking. Logan was hyperventilating and the heart monitor was going crazy.

"W-What… oh god! Oh god!" Kendall was at Logan's bed in seconds. He pulled Logan into a tight hug but Logan barely even noticed.

"Logan calm down. Calm down."

"It's gone! It's gone!" James, Carlos, and Mrs. Knight came in a few seconds later with the doctor behind them. They stood off to the side completely at a loss for what to do as the doctor quickly grabbed Logan's arm and gave him a shot.

After a few painful seconds Logan's breathing calmed until he went limp in Kendall's arms. Kendall laid Logan back against the blanket and quickly covered Logan with the blanket again. Before anyone could say anything he ran to the bathroom and threw up. How could he let this happen?

* * *

><p>Kendall opened his eyes when he could no longer take the sun hitting his face from the window. He yawned and stretched his arms up before he glanced down at the sleeping form next to him and smiled.<p>

Logan looked so peaceful it made Kendall's heart flutter. He carefully turned on his side so he wouldn't disturb Logan and cupped his face. Kendall ran his thumb over the soft skin just under Logan's eye. He moved his hand down slowly and traced his jaw then moved over Logan's neck. When he started making circles in Logan's bare side with his finger Logan's eyes fluttered open. Logan blinked a few times before he smiled at Kendall.

"I should be weirded out by the fact that you were watching me sleep."

"You know you love it." Logan smiled and leaned over to kiss Kendall passionately.

"I can't deny that." Kendall grabbed Logan by the back of his head and pulled him into a deep kiss. Logan moaned and broke apart so he could straddle Kendall's waist. When Logan re-attached their lips he rolled his hips already feeling himself get hard.

Before they could get any father there was a loud knock on their bedroom door.

"Hurry up we have to leave in an hour!" Kendall groaned in annoyance and rolled his eyes.

"We'll be out in a minute James!" Logan sat up straight and laughed. He was about to get up but Kendall grabbed his hips to keep him in place. "No don't go." Kendall let out a whine and thrust upward. He continued to do so loving how Logan's body jolted. Logan wasn't amused however. He crossed his arms over his chest and let out a sigh.

"We don't have time Kendall. Now let go so I can take a shower." Kendall stopped moving his hips and smirked.

"We would get done faster if we showered together." Logan stared at Kendall for a long time but he just couldn't resist him.

"Race you there." Logan jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom with Kendall hot on his heels. When Kendall got inside he closed and locked the door behind him.

* * *

><p>After their very hot shower Kendall and Logan quickly changed and were ready just in time to leave. James and Carlos were sitting on the couch waiting for them when they walked out into the living room.<p>

"It's about time you guys were ready. Even James took less time then you." James took a second to glare at Carlos before he smacked the back of his head and walked towards the door.

"Let's just go Gustavo will kill us if we're late." Kendall, Logan and Carlos nodded and walked past James. Carlos took that time to hit him back before he walked out of the apartment. When they finally got to the parking lot Logan reached in his pocket for the keys to the big time rush mobile until Kendall stopped him.

"Let me drive this time." Logan smiled and nodded. He kissed Kendall sweetly as he handed him the keys. Kendall had gotten his license two months ago and took every opportunity he could to drive. It was finally nice out after raining for two weeks so Kendall was finally comfortable with driving again.

Logan climbed into the passenger seat while James and Carlos climbed in the back. When everyone was buckled up and ready Kendall slowly pulled out of the parking lot and on to the street.

On the way to the recording studio the four boys sang while James and Carlos goofed off in the back seat.

"Man I cannot wait for the concert next month!" Logan, Kendall, and Carlos cheered in agreement. They were flying to New York City next month to do a concert in Time Square. They had been itching to return to the city ever since their first tour. Logan turned in his seat so he could look back at James and Carlos.

"Do you think the fans will be as crazy as last time?" Carlos nodded enthusiastically.

"I bet they'll be even crazier!" The four boys laughed as Kendall slowly stopped when the light turned red. Logan turned back around in his seat and took Kendall's hand in his.

"You know I heard New York has some of the most romantic restaurants around." Kendall looked at Logan with a playful smirk.

"Is that so?" Logan nodded and gave Kendall puppy eyes.

"Will you take me?" Kendall leaned over and gave Logan a quick kiss.

"Of course."

"Ohh Kendall and Logan sitting in a tree!" Both Kendall and Logan rolled their eyes.

"Carlos shut up!" When the light turned green Kendall drove forward. Carlos was still singing but he was cut off when their car was suddenly hit on the passenger side.

None of them had even seen the car coming. It only took a few seconds and when the world finally stopped spinning Kendall sat up with a grown. It took him a few seconds to register that he was not only upside down but that it was eerily quiet.

His head was throbbing and his vision was going in and out. When he touched his forehead with his fingers they came back covered in blood.

"K-Kendall?" Kendall tried to look back but he couldn't.

"James are you ok?"

"Y-yea I think so." James turned to Carlos and lightly shook him. "Carlos… Carlos are you ok?" Carlos shifted and groaned in pain. He whimpered and immediately grabbed at his arm.

"My arm hurts…"

"Don't worry its' going to be ok." James turned back to Kendall who was trying to get his phone out of his pocket. When James looked around the car he couldn't help but thank god for the recent crappy weather. If the top of the car had been down none of them would be alive right now.

James suddenly heard a grown from the front seat. Logan shifted and suddenly screamed in pain. Kendall immediately stopped what he was doing and turned to Logan.

"Logie? Logie are you ok?" Logan screamed out again before it turned into a sob.

"M-my leg."

"Hold on Logan its' going to be ok." Kendall glanced back when he heard movement. James had managed to get his seatbelt off and was carefully dropping himself down onto the roof of the car. "James…?"

"I'm going to get help." James crawled out the window just in time to see a police car pull up. The officer jumped out and ran over to him.

"Sir are you ok?"

"I think so but my friends need help." The officer nodded.

"What's your name?"

"James Diamond. My friends Kendall Knight, Carlos Garcia and Logan Mitchell are still in the car." The officer nodded again and held his walky talky to his mouth.

"I need medical assistance immediately. I repeat I need medical assistance immediately. Four teens involved in a hit and run. Three are still trapped in the car." The officer Grabbed James' arm and pulled him over to the curb. He sat him down and firmly told him to stay put.

James could only watch as a few more police cars and three ambulances pulled up. He was getting extremely annoyed that they weren't doing anything and was seconds away from running over there. A paramedic walked over to him and began checking him over as a fire truck came down the street. They wanted James to go to the hospital but he refused. He wasn't going anywhere until his friends were out of the car.

He watched as they used the Jaws of Life and got Kendall out first. He was going in and out of consciousness but according to the paramedics he was going to be fine. They pulled Carlos out next and James felt a little sick when he saw the odd angle his arm was in.

"Is he going to be ok?" The paramedic with him took a hard look at Carlos.

"His arm is definitely broken but he looks ok other than that." James nodded and felt a lot calmer. Logan was the only one left and he was sure it wouldn't take long to get him out. One of the firemen glanced into the passenger side and suddenly stood.

"This one's losing blood fast hurry up!" James felt his blood run cold as he watched everyone converge on the passenger side of the car. They were hesitating to pull him out of the car and he didn't know why.

"Son, you have to come with us."

"But my friend…"

"It's going to take a while to get him out and you need medical attention." James tried to fight with the paramedic but in the end he was forced into the ambulance. They put him with Kendall so he took Kendall's hand in his.

"Kendall are you ok?" James swallowed when Kendall didn't respond.

"Don't worry he'll be fine." The paramedic gave James a reassuring look but it didn't make James feel any better. Kendall was ok and Carlos was ok but Logan…

He could only pray for him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Logan Mitchell, 17 years old, massive blood loss through right leg."<em>

Like straight out of a movie Logan could see blurry images moving around him. He could hear muffled voices shouting at each other and he could see lights above him every few seconds as he was pushed down the hallway of the hospital's trauma ward.

He heard his name being called a few times and someone was asking him to respond but he was in too much pain to remember how. His body ached all over but the worst was a pulsing mind stopping pain coming from his right leg.

He heard someone calling his name again before everything went black.

* * *

><p>When Kendall woke up the first thing he saw was James and Carlos who were sitting in chairs staring at him intently. He blinked a few times and groaned.<p>

"What…"

"We were in a car accident." James interrupted. Kendall nodded and sat up. He felt dizzy for a moment but it quickly passed.

"The doctor said you hit your head pretty bad but it's not too serious. You'll have a head ache for a while but as long as you relax for a few weeks you'll be fine." Kendall nodded slowly in order to not disturb his head.

"What about you. How's your arm?" Carlos sat back and sighed.

"It's broken in three places but I'll be fine." Kendall turned to James.

"I got out of it fine but that's not surprising. The police said I was furthest from the initial hit." Kendall nodded and swallowed hard.

"What about Logan?" Kendall felt his eyes sting when Carlos and James looked at each other with pained expressions.

"We… we don't know anything yet. He went into emergency surgery a few hours ago. They said he lost a lot of blood." Kendall leaned back against the head board and covered his face with his hands. He ran his hands down his face before dropping them back in his lap.

James and Carlos looked at each other before they got up and sat on either side of Kendall's bed. They laid back not caring that they were squished together. Kendall leaned his head against James shoulder for once not caring about being strong. He couldn't take it. Let someone else be the leader for a change.

"What if we lose him?" Kendall let out a sob and closed his eyes tightly. "I can't lose him." James wrapped an arm around Kendall and squeezed his shoulder. He quickly wiped his eyes with his free hand and let out a stuttered sigh.

"I know. Logan's strong though… I know he'll make it." They lay quietly together getting comfort from the fact that they could count on each other. They weren't sure how much time past when Mrs. Knight, Katie, Gustavo, and Kelly arrived but frankly they didn't care. It was still too long for them to go without knowing anything about Logan.

"Mom." James and Carlos moved off the bed to give Mrs. Knight room. Kendall opened his arms in a very child like manner. Mrs. Knight was immediately at his side and held onto him tightly. She kissed the top of his head and looked up as if she was thanking god that her baby boy was ok.

"Sweetheart are you ok?" Kendall nodded and sniffed.

"Have you heard anything about Logan?" Mrs. Knight gave Kendall a sympathetic look and shook her head.

"He's still in surgery. I don't know anything else." Kendall nodded and laid his head against his mother's shoulder. Katie walked around the other side and climbed into the bed. She curled up to Kendall and hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you're ok big brother." Kendall didn't say anything and just held onto Katie tightly. Kelly and Gustavo stood off to the side hammering James and Carlos with questions. Unfortunately other than their own state of being the two boys didn't know much.

Another hour passed and against his mother's wishes Kendall was pacing the floor in his hospital room. A nurse had come in twice already and told him to relax but he just couldn't. Counting the three hours Logan was in surgery while Kendall was out and the two hours after he woke up. That was far too long for Kendall to go without knowing anything.

When a knock came to the door Kendall stopped pacing and everyone stood up. An older man poked his head in.

"Hello you are all with Logan Mitchell correct?" Mrs. Knight stepped forward and nodded.

"Yes I'm his guardian."

"I'm Dr. Chase." He stepped forward and shook Mrs. Knight's hand. "Logan is out of surgery and is in a recovery room. Please come with me and I'll explain the… situation." James, Carlos, and Kendall looked at each other when they noticed the doctor's hesitation. When Dr. Chase left everyone followed. Mrs. Knight tried to stop Kendall but he wasn't going to sit by wondering what was going on.

"Is Logan ok?" Dr. Chase nodded as they walked down the hallway of the hospital.

"He will be. He lost a lot of blood but we were able to get him back. He has minor cuts and bruising on his body but the worst injury was his right leg."

"Is it broken?" Dr. Chase stopped and turned to face everyone. He's expression was sullen.

"His leg was crushed in the impact. We tried our best to fix it but at the rate of blood lose he would have lost his life if we didn't take a more drastic approach." Kendall stepped forward.

"What do you mean drastic." Dr. Chase gestured to a closed door and waited for the others to enter before following. Logan was lying in the hospital bed looking completely lifeless. His face was rather pale and his body was covered with scratches and dark marks.

What made Kendall go pale though was when he looked further down. He noticed something was off with how the blanket covered Logan's legs. Kendall felt his mouth go dry.

"His leg…"

"We had to amputate from below his knee down. Kendall slowly walked over to the side of the bed and shrunk down into a seat. He took Logan's hand and kissed it before holding it to his face.

"Logan… I'm so sorry."

"Let's continue this outside." Mrs. Knight grabbed Kendall by his arm and pulled him up and out of the room. She didn't want to admit it but she couldn't be in there anymore. They walked a little down the hallway where Kendall Leaned against the wall and buried his face in his hands.

"How long will it take him to recover?" The doctor let out a sigh.

"It will take a few months for his leg to heal. If he gets a prosthetic leg he'll need physical therapy."

"He will get one I'll pay for it." Mrs. Knight turned to Gustavo with a sad smile.

"Thank you." As Mrs. Knight continued to talk to the doctor James and Carlos noticed how quiet Kendall was being. They walked over to him and each placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Kendall?" Kendall looked up lazily at his two friends Carlos and James. Carlos had his left arm in a cast and sling with bruises littering his face. The usual well kept James was covered with cuts and bruises. Out of all of them his injuries were the least severe.

"What is it James?"

"You need to snap out of it. Logan is going to wake up soon. He needs us to stay calm for him."

"Stay Calm? How can I stay calm? You were in there you saw what happened to him!" James swallowed hard going slightly pale at the memory. He shook his head and let out a sigh.

"I know this is messed up but right now we don't matter." Kendall sighed and leaned back against the wall.

"I don't even know how I'm going to tell him. I don't know if I can bear to see his face when he realizes…" Kendall stopped and they all turned toward the end of the hall when they heard a loud scream.

* * *

><p>Logan slowly came back into consciousness. His eyes opened and he had to blink a few times to get everything back into focus. The first thing he saw was the white ceiling. When he turned his head around he saw the colored walls. It was the hospitals attempt to make the room more cheerful.<p>

Logan slowly sat up groaning as his muscles protested. His head hurt but that was nothing compared to the ache in his leg. Logan glanced down but noticed something wasn't right. The way the blanket fell over his legs…

Logan swallowed hard and sat up more. He reached for the edge of the blanket and pulled the blanket off his lower half. He thought his heart might have skipped a beat but there was no way for him to hear the heart monitor through the blaring in his ears.

Logan thought that his leg might be broken or mangled but he never thought that his leg would just be gone. It was so unreal and Logan didn't know how he could handle this. He couldn't handle this.

After a few seconds Logan realized he was screaming. Everything seemed to shift and blur and he could hardly breathe. He was screaming and crying because he didn't know what else he was supposed to do. His leg was gone. No one can be ok with that.

Logan vaguely registered other people around him but the only thing he saw was the bandages around a stump that used to be his leg.

The next thing he knew was a sharp pain in his arm and everything was black again.

* * *

><p>"You ok Kendall?"<p>

"Yes stop asking." Logan heard someone let out a sigh but they didn't reply. As soon as he opened his eyes everyone was at his side. Mrs. Knight sat on the bed and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Hey Logan." She bit her lip to hold back a sob before she gave him her best smile. "How are you feeling?" Logan shifted a little bit still a little out of it.

"I don't know my leg hur…" Logan paused, a sudden shadow going over his face. His eyes dimmed and he turned his head away from everyone. "It wasn't a dream… was it?" Kendall looked at the others before he took in a breath.

"No… no it wasn't." Kendall looked at the others when Logan didn't respond. Carlos sat down behind Kendall and took Logan's hand.

"It's going to be ok Logan. Talk to us." When Logan quickly pulled his hand away Carlos couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Logan turned on his side away from everyone and shut his eyes tightly.

"I don't want to talk." Kendall placed his hand on Logan's arm.

"But Logan…"

"Don't touch me!" Kendall pulled his hand back suddenly not expecting Logan to snap at him like that. He stepped back a few feet and nodded his head.

"Ok." Before the room could fall into an awkward silence Dr. Chase walked in.

"Logan you're awake."

"I wish I wasn't." Logan was whispering but it was still loud enough for Kendall to here. Dr. Chase let out a sigh when Logan didn't turn to look at him.

"You'll need to stay a week for observation. We need to make sure you don't get an infection and you'll probably feel a little faint considering the amount of blood you lost." Logan still didn't respond so Mrs. Knight quickly stood.

"Thank you Dr. Chase." He nodded and glanced at Logan.

"I'll be around if you need anything." Dr. Chase turned and left the room. Gustavo and Kelly looked at each other as they awkwardly stood.

"We better get back to the studio as well." Kelly tilted her head to get a better look at Logan's face. "See you later Logan." She waited but he didn't answer. After a few more seconds she let out a sigh and turned to leave with Gustavo right behind her.

"Why don't I go pick something up for you boys to eat?" Mrs. Knight placed her hand on Logan's head but he jerked away. She let out a sigh and hesitated before she took Katie's hand and dragged her out of the room. The room was silent for a moment before Kendall let out a sigh and walked to the other side of the bed. He sat down in a chair so he was eye level with Logan who was still staring out blankly.

"Logan… talk to me please."

"No." Kendall glanced at the others but they were at a loss for words. He let out a sigh and nodded. Logan needed time. He understood that.

* * *

><p>Kendall became increasingly worried for Logan as time went on. He wasn't depressed or sad or confused. He was just angry. His attitude was so unlike Logan and Kendall knew if he didn't get help he wouldn't get better.<p>

When it was finally time for Logan to go home he refused any help. He wouldn't let anyone near him and he refused to change in front of anyone. Mrs. Knight had to make two trips home because when she first brought Logan clothes she brought him shorts. She thought it would make it easier for him but he refused to wear them.

When they reached the Palm Woods Logan wouldn't get out of the car unless everyone agreed they wouldn't make him walk through the lobby. They all knew it was a bad idea to encourage his behavior but they didn't have it in them to refuse him. When they returned to apartment 2J Logan immediately went towards his room. He stood at the bottom of the stairs for a moment before he let out an annoyed sigh.

Kendall tried to step forward to help him but Logan turned to glare at him. He waited until Kendall was away from him before he tightened his grip in his crutches and slowly made his way up the stairs. Kendall breath hitched every time Logan wobbled or nearly fell over but Kendall never moved to help him. Logan didn't want his help.

When Logan was fully up the stairs Kendall let out a sigh and turned toward the kitchen. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he pulled out a tub of ice cream from the freezer.

"What are you doing?" Kendall didn't turn to look at James as he pulled out two bowls and two spoons.

"I'm getting ice scream for Logan." When James sighed heavily Kendall looked back at him.

"He's not going to eat it."

"How do you know?" James frowned and stepped around the counter so he was closer to Kendall.

"Snapping at me isn't going to solve our problem." Kendall turned so he was fully facing James.

"What problem?"

"Don't act dumb. You know who I'm talking about. Logan's attitude is getting out of control."

"I know that James but we have to back off for a little while. He may be angry but it's not a surprising reaction. He lost his leg James. His life is never going to be the same." James let out a sigh and backed off.

"I know." Kendall grabbed the bowls off the counter and walked past James. He made his way over to his and Logan's room and knocked on the door. He didn't wait for an answer before he walked in. He walked over to Logan's bed and sat down next to him.

Logan didn't acknowledge Kendall when he sat down next to him. Kendall watched Logan confused as he fiddled with a large piece of plastic foam. Logan had used plastic form for a science project he did a few months back and he never bothered to throw out the left over's.

Kendall watched as Logan used a pocket knife to carve at it. After a few minutes of just silently watching Kendall realized what he was doing.

"Logan…"

"Don't."

"But Logan you can't just carve yourself a fake leg and pretend this never happened." Kendall tried to take the pocket knife away but Logan pushed him away.

"Just leave me alone." Kendall let out a sigh and stood up. He couldn't help but feel a little angry and hurt because of the way Logan was acting but Kendall still believed Logan would get better with time.

"Fine do whatever you want." Kendall stood from the bed and walked towards the door. His jaw was clenched tightly and he was shaking his head. He still believed Logan needed time but even he was getting annoyed with his attitude. Logan wasn't even trying to stop him.

"Ken…" Kendall heard a sound behind him so he stopped at the door. It was just a whisper and he wasn't completely sure if he heard it or not. When he turned to face Logan again he was watching him. "Don't leave…" Logan's lip began to quiver and his eyes shined with tears. He may have been angry and depressed and he may have lashed out but he didn't want to be alone.

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone." Kendall crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Logan who dropped his gaze down to the foam in his lap.

"I don't want to be alone… please don't leave me." A few tears slid down Logan's face. He kept his eyes down waiting for Kendall to say something anything. When he was met with silence Logan thought Kendall left. He let out a small whimper before covering his mouth with his hand to prevent himself from sobbing. His eyes were closed tightly only looking up when he felt a hand on his wrist.

"Logie…" Kendall sat down next to Logan and held his hand tightly. He reached up with his free hand and wiped Logan's tears away. "I love you. I'll always be here for you." Kendall held Logan's chin as he kissed him softly. When he pulled away Kendall leaned their foreheads together so he could stare into Logan's eyes. Logan gave him a weak smile.

"I love you too." Kendall smiled and turned towards the nightstand where he had placed the ice cream. It was starting to melt a little so he quickly handed Logan a bowl and grabbed the other one for himself. Logan took it while offering a quiet thank you.

They sat in silence as they ate the ice cream. Logan kept his eyes on the bowl while Kendall watched him. The air around them was a little tense and Kendall wasn't sure if it was because of Logan or himself or if they were both the cause of it. Logan was closing himself off and Kendall was trying his best to prevent that. Before the accident Logan and Kendall had been incredibly close. They shared everything with each other and were completely comfortable with each other. They were finally at the point in their relationship were they weren't afraid the other would judge them but now it seemed that they were back where they started.

Kendall wanted to be closer to Logan and Logan was afraid.

"The doctor said you need to change your bandages a couple times a day." Kendall didn't miss how Logan's body tensed. "You haven't been home for a while so you should probably take a shower and then we can put that cream the doctor gave you after you get out." Kendall took the bowl from Logan and stood. "I'll be back then I'll…"

"I can do it." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows.

"What?"

"I can do it by myself."

"But Logan you could fall and hurt yourself let me…"

"No." Kendall took in a deep breath as he shut his eyes tightly. He let out the breath and opened his eyes to look at Logan again.

"I'm not going to risk you hurting yourself. Stay here and I'll be back in a minute to help you." Kendall walked out of the room before Logan could argue. He walked into the kitchen and placed the two bowls in the sink as he sighed and shook his head.

Mrs. Knight was watching him as she quietly cooked dinner. She could see the tension in his shoulders as he filled the bowls with water. (1)

"Is everything ok?" Kendall let out another sigh and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. Logan won't let me in. He wants me around but then he shuts me out. I just don't get it." Mrs. Knight walked over to Kendall and placed her hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to face her she gave him a reassuring smile.

"I know things are hard right now but it will get better. Logan is hurt and confused and he needs you more than ever. Don't give up on him." Kendall nodded.

"I know." Mrs. Knight kissed Kendall's forehead then went back to cooking dinner. Kendall left the kitchen and went straight back to his bedroom only to find it empty. He looked around for a moment before his eyes landed on the closed bathroom door. He huffed then walked over to it and knocked loudly.

"What?"

"Logan open the door!"

"I can do it myself!" Kendall let out an annoyed sound and began pulling on the handle.

"Just let me help you!" When Kendall was met with silence he shook his head. The sound of the shower turning on was a clear indication that Logan wasn't going to be listening to him any time soon. Kendall huffed and turned around to leave the room. He went to the kitchen bathroom and grabbed a paper clip before he went straight back to his and Logan's room.

As he stuck the clip in the lock he listened for any odd sounds. He wanted to make sure Logan didn't fall or make sure he wasn't crying in there. When he finally got the door open he stuck his head in. The glass door of the shower was fogged up but he could see Logan's outline. His hand was holding onto the railing attached to the door while his other hand was working its way through his hair.

"Logie are you ok?" Kendall's voice made Logan jump. He would have lost his footing if he wasn't holding onto the railing so tightly.

"I told you I don't need help!" Kendall rolled his eyes and chose to ignore him. He opened the bathroom door more to let himself slide in then quietly closed it.

"I'm not coming in. I'll stay out here ok?" Kendall waited for Logan's reply but he remained silent. Kendall let out a heavy sigh and jumped up onto the counter. He watched Logan intently looking for any slip ups. Anyone would think it was creepy that Kendall was watching him but this wasn't the first time.

Logan and Kendall had whole conversations while Logan was in the shower. Many of those conversations have been rather deep and meaningful. Most of them though ended with Kendall being pulled into the shower.

Logan never seemed to mind Kendall being in the bathroom with him; he actually really enjoyed the company. Right now it would appear the opposite. Logan was standing stiffly in the shower not saying a word. His grip on the railing was tight and he was leaning away from Kendall almost like he was trying to hide from him.

When he was done Logan reached back to turn off the water. When he didn't make a move to get out Kendall jumped down from the counter and grabbed the towel hanging by the sink.

"Here's your towel." Logan hesitated for a minute before he quickly slide the door open enough to reach a hand out and grab the towel. The door was shut again before Kendall even had a chance to blink and Kendall didn't like that. Logan had always been comfortable around Kendall. Kendall was the only person who knew Logan walked around the house naked when no one was home. He actually found that out by accident when he came home to Logan drinking from a carton of milk in all his naked glory. That had been an interesting day.

From then Logan had no problem shedding his clothes when Kendall was around. It was actually one of the things about Logan Kendall really enjoyed but now Logan was hiding himself again.

"P-pass me my rob… please." Kendall didn't say anything and grabbed it off the back of the door. Logan again slid the door slightly open before shutting it again. After Logan took a minute to slid it on and close it Logan finally slide the door open completely. He didn't meet Kendall's eyes as he slowly turned himself to climb out of the shower.

"Let me help." Kendall didn't wait for Logan to give him the ok before grabbing his waist and slowly lifting him out. Logan wrapped his arms tightly around Kendall's neck only letting go when Kendall placed him on the toilet set. "Let me go get the stuff the doctor gave you."

"Ok." Kendall kissed Logan's forehead then left the room. He grabbed a blue box from his bed then went straight back to the bathroom. Logan was sitting completely still with his hands fisted in his lap. When Kendall kneeled down on the floor in front of Logan he jumped not realizing he was back.

"Ok, the doctor said you need to change the bandages four times a day. Two of those times you need to let the stitches air out a little so the next time we'll wait like ten minutes to put on the new bandages." Kendall placed the box on the floor next to him then opened it. He pulled out a roll of bandages and a tube of cream. "You have to put this on so you don't get an infection…"

"I'll do it." Kendall paused to look up at Logan. He was holding his hand out waiting for Kendall to hand everything over.

"But Logan…"

"It's fine Kendall. Remember I'm future doctor Logan. I know what I'm doing." Kendall hesitated before he reluctantly handed everything to Logan. When Logan didn't move to do anything Kendall shook his head and stood. He stepped out of the bathroom but waited by the door just in case Logan needed him. A few minutes later Logan emerged fully dressed.

Nothing about Logan's outfit was unusual until Kendall glanced down at his pants. Logan was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and his favorite boots. That right there was the problem. He was somehow wearing both boots. He had taken the foam and stuck it into his pants then tied his shoe to it. Kendall wasn't exactly sure how it was staying there but he didn't really care.

"Logan…" Logan clumsily moved around Kendall with his crutches. His right boot was dragging against the floor. It was dead weight on him and looked absolutely horrible.

"Don't start." Kendall ran around Logan then stood in front of him. He held on to his shoulders tightly. When Logan refused to look at him Kendall used one hand to hold on to Logan's chin.

"Listen, don't shut me out. We can get through this together." Logan shook off Kendall's grip on his face and broke eye contact with him. He set his lips in a line and shook his head.

"Together?" Logan let out a sort sigh. "I wish." Logan moved past Kendall who didn't do anything to stop him. When he got to the door Logan looked back with sad eyes before making his way out of the room. No matter how much Kendall wanted to help he knew there was nothing he could do.

* * *

><p>It was two weeks before the four boys started going to Rocque Records again. It was definitely awkward when they first got there. Kelly did her best to be understanding of Logan's feelings but his attitude was a shock to her system. He was rude and snapped easily; Kelly noticed how James, Carlos, and Kendall were walking on egg shells with him.<p>

She also saw pain in their eyes. Carlos had significant injuries but he was hiding that it bothered or frustrated him because he was putting Logan before himself. Carlos knew that Logan was far more traumatized then he was and he understood that Logan needed more attention than him.

James was a little harder to read. He was upset about the crash that was for sure but he was also angry. Every time Logan snapped or ignored someone's kindness James' eyes darkened a little bit. His body was tense and his jaw was clenched. Kelly was afraid that James would snap and she was even more afraid that someone could really get hurt.

Kendall's emotions were the most obvious. Every time he placed a reassuring hand on Logan's shoulder or wrapped an arm around his waist Logan didn't respond like he used to. He would tense for a second or pull away from the touch all together. The rejection hurt Kendall more than anything but he kept trying to get Logan back. He kept trying to make Logan let him in but he seemed to fail every time. He missed Logan but there was something else that worried Kelly. It was buried so deep Kelly wasn't even sure Kendall noticed it yet. It crossed over his face every time Logan tripped or every time he glanced down and watched Logan's right boot drag along the floor. It was guilt and Kelly wondered if it would consume him.

"Dogs! In the booth!" Gustavo sat in his chair with a scowl on his face as usual. He was trying to return things back to normal and the only way he could see that happening is if he didn't change himself. He still yelled at the boys despite the glares he got from Kelly. He ignored them and focused his attention on the four boys as they walked inside.

Logan was the last one in and he paused at the door. Everyone held their breath as he eyed the chair in front of his microphone.

"I thought you would be more comfortable sitting… if that's ok." Logan stared at Kelly for a moment before he nodded.

"Thank you." It was so whispered the others weren't sure if Logan actually said the words. The only indication was his mouth moving. Logan hobbled over and sat down as quickly as he could. He kept his eyes down avoiding everyone else's stares. After a second Gustavo cleared his throat gaining everyone's attention.

"Ok it's been a while so let's start with Halfway there." When the music started Kendall stood straighter preparing himself to start. When it finally came to his part he took in a breath and sang.

_When the chips are down, back against the wall  
>Got no more to give 'cause we gave it all<br>Seems like going a distance is unrealistic  
>But we're too far from the start<em>

Kendall turned to look at Carlos when his part ended and Carlos' part began.

So we take what comes and we keep on going

Carlos grimaced at first at the sound of his own voice. His arm was sore and he was letting that show in his voice. After the first verse he quickly composed himself so he sounded better for the rest. He could still tell Gustavo wasn't happy though by the way his eye twitched.

We're halfway there, we're looking good now  
>Nothing's gonna get in the way<p>

They four glanced between each other noticing they sounded a little flat. Kendall thought he sounded ok and after Carlos fixed himself he sounded ok. That left either James or Logan and from the looks Gustavo was giving them it was obvious that he was thinking the same thing.

_We're halfway there and looking back now  
>I'd never thought that I'd ever say<br>We're halfway there, we're halfway there_

"Stop!" The four boys shut their mouths as soon as Gustavo spoke. They watched Gustavo wearily wondering what he was going to say. "Kendall do your solo again." Kendall swallowed and cleared his throat.

_When the chips are down, back against the wall  
>Got no more to give 'cause we gave it all<br>Seems like going a distance is unrealistic  
>But we're too far from the start<em>

Kendall bit his lip as Gustavo glared at him. Gustavo let out a sigh. "Carlos!" When Carlos pointed at himself Gustavo rolled his eyes and gestured with his hand to go on. Carlos quickly leaned towards the microphone.

_So we take what comes and we keep on going  
>Leaning on each other's shoulders<br>Then we turn around and see we've come so far somehow_

"Needs work as usual." Kelly smacked Gustavo on the back of the head then leaned forward.

"Don't worry Carlos it's just been a while." Carlos nodded. Gustavo's comment hadn't really hurt that much anyway he was used to it.

"James!"

_If you never flew, we would never fall  
>If the world was ours, we would have it all<br>But the life we live isn't so simplistic  
>You just don't get what you want<em>

James watched Gustavo expectantly but he didn't say anything. James sounded the best so far and that probably was because he sang to his mirror every day.

"Logan!" Kendall bit his lip as he stared at Logan. He wasn't nervous when he was put on the spot but now he was. If the problem wasn't James then it had to be Logan. Gustavo's comment to Carlos was harsh but nothing he couldn't handle. Logan would have been able to handle it as well… a few weeks ago. Logan wasn't sure how he would react now. Logan cleared his throat as he leaned forward slowly.

How you ever gonna reach the stars  
>If you never get off the ground?<p>

Logan had his eyes shut tightly the entire time he sang. He sounded horrible. His voice cracked in the middle prompting him to stop halfway through. Gustavo pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh.

"Again!" Logan let out an annoyed sigh but tried again anyway. He got halfway through again when Gustavo yelled for him to stop. He sounded better the second time around but it was lazy and Logan barley sounded like he was putting in any effort.

"Again?" Logan asked sarcastically. Carlos, James, and Kendall's eyes widened while Gustavo raised his eyebrow. It was awkwardly silent for a moment before Gustavo nodded.

_How you ever gonna reach the stars  
>If you never get off the ground?<br>And you're always here where you are…_

"Stop!" Logan clenched his jaw and leaned back as he stared at Gustavo. "What is with you you're not trying at all!" Kendall stepped forward and held a hand up in defense.

"Gustavo it's been a while give him a break." Gustavo stood suddenly, fuming.

"It's only been Three weeks since you've been here! You don't sound horrible in three weeks! None of you sound good that was pathetic!"

"Gustavo…" Gustavo ignored Kelly and continued to shout.

"You lost your leg not your throat, sing better!"

"GUSTAVO!" He looked back at Kelly and mouthed the word what before turning back towards Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan. Kendall, James, and Carlos stared at Logan wide eyed waiting for him to react. He sat completely still his body completely tense. His eyes were dark revealing so much anger. Under that though, was hurt.

Logan knocked over the microphone letting it hit the glass as he stood. He grabbed his crutches and left the small room as quickly as he could. Kendall followed Logan out of the room calling his name. When Logan continued to ignore him he picked up his pace so he could run around him and stop him.

"Logan don't…" Kendall paused when he realized Logan was crying. He reached his hand up to wipe Logan's tears away but Logan pulled away.

"What?" Kendall dropped his hand and let out a sigh. He shook his head his expression revealing his hurt.

"Why are you acting like this?" Logan's scowl feel slightly because of Kendall's hurt tone. He quickly wiped at his eyes and turned away from Kendall.

"Acting like what?"

"Like a jerk." Logan glared at Kendall but Kendall didn't budge.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me what's going on with you. Why are you so angry at everyone?"

"Because every time I look at you it pisses me off!" Kendall furrowed his eyebrows taken back by Logan's comment.

"What?" Logan leaned against the wall and ran is hands over his face.

"You don't look at me the same anymore… nobody does. I can't…" Logan looked up trying to keep the tears at bay. "I can't stand it." Kendall stepped towards Logan and cupped his face. When Logan tried to pull away he brought his other hand to hold Logan's face in place.

"Don't do that. Don't shut me out. If you have a problem come to me. I'm sorry I haven't looked at you the same but what do you expect?" When Logan looked away Kendall moved into his line of vision. "You keep pushing me away and it kills me. Please stop pushing me away."

"I don't know what to do?" Logan let his tears fall as he stared up at Kendall. "I'm so confused." Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan and pulled him close. When he felt Logan begin to shake he held him tighter.

"It's going to be ok." Logan buried his face in Kendall's neck.

"No its not. I can't do this I can't deal with this." Kendall pulled away and held Logan by his shoulders.

"Yes you can. I'm here for you; James and Carlos are here for you. I don't care what you think you are not alone. It's going to be a long hard road ahead but you have help."

"But I don't want it. I don't want to rely on you for every little thing. I want to do things on my own. I want to walk on my own."

"You can. When you get better you can get a prosthetic leg. People ran and swim with those things. You'll be able to do everything you ever wanted you just can't give up." Kendall stared at Logan as he seemed to contemplate everything Kendall said. When his expression seemed to soften and his body became less tense Kendall couldn't help but smile.

Logan looked up at Kendall a smile forming as well.

"That's what I've been missing. You never smile for me anymore." Kendall pulled Logan into a tight hug then kissed him deeply. When he pulled away he wiped Logan's face of any remaining tears.

"Let's get back. Will you be ok?" When Logan nodded Kendall started walking back. He slowed his pace so he could stay with Logan. They found James and Carlos in the dance studio when they returned.

"Hey Logan you ok?" Logan jaw tensed slightly at Carlos' expression. When he felt a hand on his back he looked up to find Kendall staring at him. They went through a moment of silent communication before Logan let out a sigh.

"I'm fine." Carlos and James raised their eyebrows not expecting Logan to be so calm. He wasn't as tense anymore and his attitude was better. Kendall would have to explain what happened to everyone later but for right now he was happier.

He didn't have his Logie back completely but he definitely made progress.

* * *

><p>Kendall was sitting in the kitchen waiting for Logan to finish getting ready. They were going to the doctors today. Carlos was going to get a smaller cast on his arm, Kendall and James were getting checkups, and Logan was going to find out if they could start the process of getting him a prosthetic leg.<p>

Kendall would have thought Logan would be excited. He wouldn't have to walk around with crutches any more. He would be able to start walking more normally again but Logan was the opposite of excited. He didn't want to go. Kendall could tell because Logan was starting to act out again. His anger was better than it was a month ago. And he wasn't shutting Kendall out as much but that didn't mean he was really opening up.

There were things that Logan was still keeping from him, from all of them. Logan was fragile and simple things set him off. They had already fought twice within 24 hours and for them that was a lot. Yesterday Kendall hinted at the fact that he wanted to have sex and Logan flipped out at him. This morning Kendall suggested Logan wear shorts and again Logan got angry. Kendall was glad he wasn't as crazy as James or Carlos. If that were the case he would have killed Logan by now.

He could tell that James wanted to. James was a loyal friend but he could also be blunt. There were several occasions where Kendall or Carlos had to stop him from saying something harsh to Logan. James was the type of person who spoke his mind when someone was doing something he didn't think was right. Kendall knew that James meant well but he wasn't going to let James hurt Logan's feelings.

"Ready?" Kendall nodded and stood up when Logan walked in. James and Carlos were sitting on the couch with Mrs. Knight and they stood up when Logan walked in as well. When they walked out of the apartment Logan stopped when James, Carlos and Mrs. Knight turned towards the elevators.

"Where are you guys going?" Kendall glanced at Logan when he noticed how tense he was. James let out a sigh and turned to face Kendall.

"I'm going through the lobby. It's been a month I'm not leaving through the back anymore." James and Logan stared at each other. James was just waiting for Logan to say anything. He wanted Logan to give him a reason to say what needed to be said.

"Boys." Mrs. Knight placed a hand on James' shoulder and gave him a look. She turned to Logan with a warm smile. "Are you ok with this sweetheart?" It was clear that Logan was not ok with it but he nodded his head anyway. Kendall was surprised Logan didn't fight with James but the sudden tension in the air meant Logan wasn't going to talk to any of them for a long time.

Logan was angry at James now and Kendall for not saying anything. James was annoyed with Logan and Kendall was annoyed with James. The only one who didn't seem to be pissy was Carlos who was his usual happy self. He sensed the tension but chose to ignore it.

When the elevator doors opened for the lobby and Logan stepped out he watched everyone wearily. He seemed to relax when he realized no one was really watching him but that didn't seem to last long. As soon as someone looked up at Logan they whispered to someone making them look up. After that it seemed like everyone was watching them walk by.

Kendall bit his lip not knowing how Logan would react. When Logan picked up his pace and his lip began to quiver Kendall picked up his pace as well. He made sure to bump his shoulder into James then glared at him when their eyes locked. James thought Logan needed to get over the accident but Kendall knew he wasn't ready yet.

"Logie, baby wait." Logan let out a sigh and stopped. Kendall walked around him and pulled him into a tight hug. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck not caring if his crutches fell. They stayed like that for a few seconds until Kendall pulled away. Logan slowly removed his arms from around Kendall's neck as he grabbed on to his crutches. "You don't have to do that again."

"It's fine."

"I understand if you're not ready." Logan let out a long sigh.

"I go out in public all the time anyway right." Kendall kissed Logan's forehead and didn't say anything more. They walked over to the car Kendall climbing in the back and Logan climbing in the front. When Kendall knew Logan wasn't looking he punched James arm.

"What the hell." James whisper yelled. Kendall leaned towards him with clenched teeth.

"Stop being such an asshole." James held his arm and pouted.

"You need to stop babying Logan."

"Whatever." Kendall let out a sigh and leaned against the car door. A part of him knew James was right but he also knew James was going about it the wrong way. He shouldn't force Logan to do anything. He should support Logan and help him do things he's not afraid of. Kendall also knows he shouldn't give in to Logan so easily. He should try and figure out why Logan doesn't want to do certain things. Like why he won't wear shorts or why he won't be intimate with Kendall anymore.

When they reached the hospital Mrs. Knight placed a handicapped sign in the window and pulled into the parking spot. They all climbed out of the car quickly and walked inside. Carlos went in first then Kendall and James were called in as well. Mrs. Knight stayed with Logan knowing she would have to talk to the doctor about him.

When Logan was finally called Mrs. Knight went with him. She waited outside the room already knowing Logan wouldn't want her inside.

"Ok Logan can you take your jeans off and try and get on the table." Logan nodded letting out a sigh as he undid his pants. He slid them down his leg and held tightly to his crutches as he kicked them out of the way. He made his way to the step and bit his lip as he hopped on. Logan slowly turned himself around then placed his hand on the table as he lifted himself up onto it.

The doctor smiled and quickly looked over Logan's chart.

"How are you feeling Logan?"

"Fine."

"Does your leg hurt at all?"

"Not really… just a little sore." The doctor nodded then put the chart down. He stepped over to Logan and slowly removed the bandages. He threw them in the trash then sat down in a chair to get a better look. His face showed complete concentration as he looked over the stitches.

"You've healed very well. Most of your stitches have dissolved already. We can definitely start measuring you for your prosthetic." Logan nodded and let out a sigh. When the doctor looked up at him with a raised eyebrow he blushed.

"Sorry… it's just bitter sweet." He nodded as he opened a new and smaller set of bandages.

"I understand. It's a hard adjustment but don't worry you'll get there." Logan nodded and hopped of the table when the doctor was done. As soon as his pants were back on Mrs. Knight came in the room.

"So how is he?"

"Perfectly fine. He can get measured for his prosthetic. He'll have to be measured so it can be made for him and it will take a few weeks to make." Mrs. Knight nodded and took the slip of paper the doctor handed her. "You can order the prosthetic through the hospital but you'll need to go to the physical therapy building to get it." She nodded and thanked the doctor before leaving. They walked silently down the hall before Mrs. Knight broke the silence.

"I'll set up another appointment right now. You may even be able to go in later today." Logan nodded. He walked over to Kendall as soon as he spotted him in the lobby. Kendall gestured to his mom at the front desk.

"What's she doing?"

"Setting up another appointment for me."

"You're getting your prosthetic?" Logan sighed.

"Yea…" Kendall frowned. He cupped Logan's face smiling when he didn't pull away but leaned into the touch.

"You'll be ok." Logan nodded. When he spotted James and Carlos walking over he pulled away from Kendall.

"We done?"

"Not yet." The boys turned to Mrs. Knight when she walked over. "They can take you right now Logan so you can go back in." Logan nodded. He gave Kendall a quick kiss before following Mrs. Knight again.

* * *

><p>"Look at that thing." When Carlos reached out to touch the prosthetic Kendall slapped his hand.<p>

"Don't touch its Logan's."

"But it's so cool looking." Kendall nodded as the physical therapist took it out of the box.

"This is an Air Jordan prosthetic (2). As you can see it looks more like a human leg." She gave Logan a smile. "Why don't we try it out?" Logan swallowed and nodded. He sat down on a chair near the therapist glancing at James, Carlos, and Kendall.

"Let's go outside." Kendall grabbed Carlos and James by their shoulders and dragged them out of the room. They protested until Kendall let them go.

"What the hell?"

"Logan doesn't want us in there." James rolled his eyes.

"You need to stop giving him everything he wants. You're not helping him."

"Well you're not helping him either so why don't you shut up." James narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything. They stared at each other for a long time before Carlos stepped in between them.

"Come on guys calm down." James let out a sigh and nodded. A few minutes later the door opened and the physical therapist stuck her head out.

"Logan is asking for you guys." They looked at each other before walking in. Logan was standing between to bars biting his lip. They couldn't see the prosthetic because of his pants but they could definitely tell his was wearing it.

"Logie you look great." Logan offered Kendall a small smile. The physical therapist stepped in front of the bars.

"Yea it fits perfectly. Now let's see you walk with it." Logan nodded and held onto the bars tightly. The first step he took was with his right leg. The weight of the prosthetic was so strange. And it was even weirder to put his foot down and not feel anything. He didn't feel his foot against the bottom of his shoe or how the soft ground made his foot shift. When he lifted his left leg his right leg shook. Logan let out a sigh and walked forward a little more.

When Logan thought he was finally getting a hang of it he stumbled. Logan tried to catch himself but he couldn't get his footing and fell. Kendall ran over to Logan side and kneeled next to him.

"You ok." Logan didn't say anything as he grabbed onto the bars and pulled himself up. He wobbled for a second before he stood still. He let out a breath then tried walking again. When he stumbled Logan's jaw clenched in frustration.

"It's ok Logan it's only your first try. You'll get better and before you know it you'll be walking better than me." Logan let out a sigh and nodded. "Why don't you try walking with your crutches for a while?"

"Ok." Logan nodded and took his crutches and started walking around. He frowned at the hugely noticeable limp. Logan had hoped that he would be like he was before. He wanted everything to go back to normal and try to pretend nothing has changed.

When he looked at himself in the mirror he could still see the difference. No matter how hard he tried he never was going to be the person he was before. He could hide it all he wanted but in the back of his mind he would always be different now.

It was going to be a long few weeks.

* * *

><p>"Dogs, the concert that was scheduled a few months ago obviously didn't happen but we were able to schedule a new concert for later this month. Kendall glanced at Logan but didn't see any emotions on his face.<p>

Logan had finally gotten used to the prosthetic and was walking on his own. When he finally put those crutches down and took that first step without falling there was a change in him. He seemed more content almost happy. He didn't snap at anyone and there were a couple of times he actually spent time by the pool.

The improvement was good but Kendall wasn't sure if he was ready for something like that. Kelly spoke when Gustavo stopped.

"The concert is going to be here in LA instead of NYC and we've made some changes to the dances. We'll start learning them tomorrow so you boys can head home." They nodded and made their way out of the studio. Kendall couldn't help but notice the sad expression on Logan's face as they made their way home.

"Something wrong Logan?"

"They changed the dances because of me. They don't think I can do them anymore." Kendall let out a sigh and wrapped an arm around Logan. He kissed the side of his head and rubbed his arm reassuringly.

"They just don't want you to get hurt and it's only been a month since you got your prosthetic you still need time to adjust." Logan let out a sigh.

"Yea whatever." Kendall let out a sigh and decided not to say anything else. When the limo pulled up to the Palm Woods the boys climbed out and went straight to their apartment. Once inside Kendall grabbed Logan's hand and dragged him to their room. There was still something that had been bothering him for a long time.

"I want to talk to you about something." Logan let out a sigh and sat on his bed. Kendall took his hand when he sat down next to him. When Kendall didn't say anything Logan sighed.

"What?"

"Ok I'm just going to get straight to the point… It's been months since we last had sex." Logan blushed and looked away from Kendall.

"I don't know…"

"You don't have to if you don't want to its just… I want to be close to you Logan." When Logan still remained silent Kendall let out a sigh. He thought Logan was mad at him so he stood up to give him some space.

"Wait." Logan grabbed Kendall's arm. Kendall watched Logan quietly. "I want to be close to you too." Kendall sat next to Logan and pulled him into a deep kiss before he could change his mind. They had kissed plenty of times but never with so much need behind it. Kendall forced his tongue into Logan's mouth and ran it over every single inch. When Logan let out a cute little moan Kendall almost lost it.

Kendall didn't pull away from the kiss as he pushed Logan to lie in the middle of the bed. He settled between Logan's legs and allowed his hands to touch his stomach and chest. Kendall broke the kiss and began sucking on Logan's neck. When Logan let out another moan Kendall felt the urge to touch every inch of him. He pulled off of Logan and ripped his shirt off then settled between his legs again.

Kendall moved his hands over Logan's arms loving how his skin felt. He ran his hands back up then over Logan's chest letting himself squeeze Logan's pecks. Logan let out another moan when Kendall tweaked his nipples. Kendall ran his hands over Logan's stomach as he bit down on Logan's neck. Kendall grabbed Logan's thigh but Logan pulled his hand away.

Logan laced their fingers above his head then used his free hand to pull Kendall into another kiss. Logan was so into the kiss he let go of Kendall's hand. When he felt Kendall running his fingers over his thigh again he slapped the hand away.

Kendall was almost brain dead with lust that he didn't even realize Logan was trying to tell him he didn't want his hand there. When he grabbed Logan's thigh again Logan let out an annoyed sound that came out more as a grunt. Logan didn't want this anymore.

"Kendall stop." It was a whisper so Kendall thought Logan was enjoying the attention. When he slid his hand down Logan's thigh he suddenly felt to hands on his chest.

"Get off!" Logan pushed Kendall off him then sat up. Kendall was dazed for a moment then sat up slowly. He stared at Logan wide eyed as they both breathed heavily.

"Logie what…?" Before Kendall could say anything he heard multiple foot steps before their bedroom door flew open. Mrs. Knight, James, and Carlos ran in with concerned expressions. No one moved to do anything until Logan jumped off the bed. He wobbled for a second before he made his way quickly out of the room. Mrs. Knight took in Logan's shirtless appearance as he left and then Kendall's disheveled appearance. She stepped closer to the bed and crossed her arms.

"You better not have been doing what I think you were Kendall Donald Knight. I raised you better then that!" Kendall stared at her wide eyed. He was beyond confused.

"What did I do?"

"Were you trying to force yourself on him?" Kendall's face turned a deep shade of red and his eyes widened even more.

"What? No!" Carlos walked over to Logan's bed and sat down.

"It kind of sounded like it dude…" Kendall stood up completely furious.

"I would never do that to Logan. You should know me better than that."

"Then what happened?" James crossed his arms over his chest looking annoyed. Kendall may think James hated Logan lately but that was opposite from the truth. Kendall let out a sigh and sat down again.

"I don't know. He was fine with it when we started trust me." Kendall glanced up at his mom his face still red. This was not the conversation he wanted to have right now. If things hadn't suddenly turned ugly he'd be having sex with his beautiful boyfriend instead.

Mrs. Knight let out a sigh her body relaxing. She could tell by the expression on his face that he was telling the truth.

"Go talk to him." Kendall nodded. He stood up and grabbed Logan's shirt before leaving the room.

"Logan?" When Logan slowly walked out of the kitchen bathroom Kendall immediately walked over to him.

"I'm sorry." Kendall let out a sigh and handed Logan his shirt. He waited for him to pull it on before speaking.

"If you didn't want to do it you could have told me. I don't want to do anything to hurt you." Logan let out a sigh and shook his head. He turned toward the counter and leaned against it.

"It's not that. I want to I just… I can't." Kendall placed his hand on Logan's back and rubbed soothingly.

"Why?" Logan shook his head and stepped past Kendall.

"I just can't."

* * *

><p>It was finally time for their concert. The boys spent a month preparing for it and even Gustavo was proud of them. Logan seemed to be uncertain compared to the others but Kendall reassured him at every turn. Kendall was right there with Logan whenever he was frustrated that he couldn't get the dance right or angry that they kept changing things to compensate for Logan.<p>

Kendall knew that with more time Logan wouldn't need compensation at all but he was still knew to his prosthetic and had to get used to it.

"Are you boys ready?" They all nodded as they glanced out the window to look down at the fans. They gathered their hours ago and as more time passed more people showed up. Gustavo stepped out of the room with Kelly to make sure everything was in order. James and Carlos were jumping up and down with excitement while Logan sat off to the side by himself.

Kendall walked over to him with a concerned expression.

"You ok babe?" Logan took in a shaky breath and nodded.

"Yea fine." Kendall sat down and took Logan's hand. When he lifted it up to kiss the back of it Logan smiled in a way that Kendall hadn't seen for months.

"Don't doubt yourself. You're going to do great. We all have faith in you." Logan took in a calming breath and nodded. When Gustavo and Kelly walked back in Kelly was holding four clothing bags.

"Here are your clothes boys." Kelly handed James his bag then Carlos then Kendall then Logan's. They each opened their bag like it was a present on Christmas morning.

"Awesome." Carolos held up his shirt to get a better look at it. The chicks will dig me in this." The other three shook their heads and laughed.

"You can thank James Carlos he picked out your clothes." Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"You picked our outfits?" James smiled and nodded.

"You can thank me later." He turned to Logan a confident smile still on his face. "What about you Logan you want to thank me to?" When Logan didn't say anything James' smile fell. Kendall and Carlos turned around to see why he was being so quiet.

Logan had his bag open and was looking into it. When he reached in the first thing he pulled out were shorts. Kendall shut his eyes tightly and mentally cursed James out. He turned to him quickly and mouthed _"What the fuck?"_

Kendall knew for a fact that James knew Logan didn't wear shorts anymore. If this was another attempt to force Logan to do something he was afraid to do then Kendall was going to drop kick him.

"Why shorts?" Logan glanced at James unusually calm. "Why did you pick shorts? Why can't I wear pants?" When James shrugged even Carlos looked like he wanted to smack him.

"I picked the outfits to work with each other."

"How does it make a difference if I wear pants or shorts I want to wear pants." Logan was getting angry now. His voice was getting louder and higher.

"Well you have the shorts so wear those."

"I'm not wearing these."

"Well there's nothing else for you to wear." Carlos dropped his clothes and stepped between James and Carlos.

"We can switch." James huffed and grit his teeth.

"You wear different sizes it won't work."

"Then I'll wear the pants I'm wearing now."

"You're wearing sweats! You can't wear sweats!"

"Then let me get something else!"

"The concert starts soon there's no time!"

"Well… I'm not going on if I have to wear this!" When Gustavo went to scream Kelly threw her hand over his mouth. Kelly, Kendall, James, and Carlos stared wide eyed at Logan. James dropped his clothes and walked over to him.

"You can't be serious. You would ruin everything we worked for just because of some stupid shorts?" When Logan didn't say anything James clenched his jaw. He grabbed the shorts off the bag and pushed them against Logan's chest.

"I'm not…!"

"I'm sick and tired of you god damn attitude! The accident doesn't give you the right to act like a whiny bitch! Stop complaining and put on the damn shorts before I strip you and put them on you myself!"

"What the fuck James?" Kendall stepped between them and pushed James back to separate the two. He didn't even acknowledge Kendall as James continued to stare at Logan. Logan didn't move to do anything for a long time before he grabbed the clothes James picked out for him and stepped out of the room.

Kendall pushed James again making him fall onto the couch.

"What. The. Hell!"

"What? It's just some damn shorts!"

You and I both know he doesn't wear shorts James!" James stood up and glared at Kendall.

"Well he needs to get over himself!"

"This isn't the way to do it!" Kendall shook his head and quickly left the room after Logan. He walked around the corner to the changing rooms they set up for them and stopped to listen. When Kendall heard sniffing he frowned even more. He walked over to the dressing room it was coming from and leaned his ear against it.

When Kendall heard a small sob he knew for sure it was Logan. He grabbed the door handle and began to open it.

"Logie?" Logan gasped. He grabbed his pants in an attempt to cover his legs.

"Get out! Don't look at me!" Kendall was shocked by Logan's outburst. He ignored Logan's protests and stepped in the room.

"What's the matter? You don't have anything to be ashamed off." Logan looked down still trying to cover his right leg with his pants. Kendall furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Logan was already changed into the new outfit. Why was he so upset?

"G-go away." Logan let out a sob still refusing to look up at Kendall. Kendall sat down next to Logan and stared at him. He looked down at the sweats Logan was holding so tightly then tried to take them. "N-No."

Kendall ignored Logan's protests and pulled the pants away. Logan grabbed at his prosthetic trying to hide it. When Kendall realized that was the first time he has seen it on Logan it clicked.

"Logie… you don't have to be ashamed of your prosthetic." Logan let out another sob still trying to cover himself.

"I-I don't wa-nt to wear shorts. I don't w-want people t-to see i-it.

"There's nothing wrong with it Logie. There's nothing wrong with you."

"Yes there is I-I'm a freak of n-nature. I d-don't want to be different. I don't w-want to have a fake leg. I-its ugly and I don't w-want anyone t-to look at me."

"Oh Logie…" Kendall pulled Logan close and held him as he cried. He knew Logan was insecure about his prosthetic but he never realized it was this bad.

Logan felt horrible with it. He felt every time he walked out his door people stared at him. He felt like they were judging him and calling him a freak behind his back. He felt unattractive and just horrible. Standing in front of the mirror with his prosthetic in plain sight and unable to hide it set him over the edge.

Kendall whispered to Logan reassuringly as he ran his fingers through his hair. When Logan was finally calmed down enough he pulled away and wiped his tears away.

"Listen to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're beautiful. I love everything about you. I don't care if you have a fake leg. That doesn't change the way I feel about you Logan. You don't have to hide from me and you don't have to hide from anyone else because I know they love you too." Kendall grabbed Logan's hands and pulled them away from his leg.

Logan's breath hick-upped and he shut his eyes tightly. He was too afraid to look at the expression on Kendall's face. When Logan felt a hand on his face he slowly opened his eyes. Kendall was staring at him lovingly.

"You're beautiful." Logan blushed as he buried his face in Kendall's chest.

"I love you Kendall." Kendall smiled and kissed the top of Logan's head. When Logan pulled away he let out a breath as he wiped his eyes.

"I love you Logie and I'm not going to make you do something you don't want to." Kendall stood and began to take off his pants. Logan stared at him with a raised eyebrow until Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Strip." Logan nodded. He bit his lip as he slowly began removing the shorts. Kendall gave him a smile and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "You're beautiful." Logan blushed and completely removed the shorts. When Kendall had his pants off he helped Logan into them.

Kendall tightened his belt then bent down to fold the bottom of his jeans. When he stood up he smiled.

"Perfect." Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's torso and hugged him tightly. When he pulled away he had tears in his eyes again.

"Thank you Kendall… for everything."

"No problem. Now let's hurry before fans with backstage passes show up. The last thing they need is to see me walking around in my underwear." Logan let out a laugh and stepped out of the dressing room with Kendall. When they got back to where the others were Carlos, James, Gustavo, and Kelly raised an eyebrow at them.

"In the process of comforting Logan when did you lose your pants?"

"Towards the end." Carlos chuckled and shook his head. Kendall walked over to his clothes and threw on the pants from his bag. When they were done getting ready James let out a sigh and walked over to Logan. He kept his eyes down cast and shifted on his feet.

"I'm sorry Logan." James looked up feeling guilty when he saw how red and puffy Logan's eyes were. "I didn't mean to make you cry." Logan let out a sigh and smiled.

"It's ok James. I'm sorry too. I haven't been very nice to you." James shook his head.

"Don't worry about it." James pat Logan on the shoulder then turned to Kelly when she clapped her hands together.

"Ok, now that we all love each other again lets go do the concert before something else goes wrong." The four boys cheered and made their way out of the room as quickly as they could.

* * *

><p>"Amazing, just amazing." Carlos shook his head as he plopped down on the orange couch.<p>

"You said that already James we get it." James laughed as he sat down next to Carlos.

"I can't help it the concert was great." James turned to Logan with a smile. "You really did good Logan." Logan blushed.

"Thanks James." Logan turned to Kendall when James turned way again. He stood from the couch and grabbed Kendall's hand. They walked towards their room Logan shutting and locking the door when they were both inside.

"Something wrong Logie?" Logan shook his head a blush forming on his face. He looked away from Kendall as he played with the hem of his shirt.

"I… I wanted to… I was hoping we could…I want to be close to you Kendall." Kendall smiled and stepped forward. He pulled Logan into a deep kiss that showed all his love and admiration. When he pulled away he brought Logan over to the bed and laid him down. Kendall removed his own clothes as Logan watched him. Logan was becoming more aroused with every passing second. When Kendall was completely naked he crawled onto the bed to remove Logan's clothes.

He pulled Logan's shirt off first. As soon as threw it across the room Kendall bent down to suck on Logan's nipple. Logan let out a high pitched moan as the thread his fingers through Kendall's hair. Kendall gave the same attention to the other nipple before kissing his way down Logan's stomach. When he reached Logan's pants (technically Kendall's) he paused before pulling them open.

Logan felt a mixture of arousal and fear. Kendall was so close to his throbbing erection but he was also close to something else. When Kendall began pulling off Logan's pants Logan shut his eyes tightly. When they were gone Logan felt tears come to his eyes.

"Logie." Logan opened his eyes and found himself face to face with Kendall. When a few tears slipped Kendall wiped them away. "You're beautiful. I'll tell you every day for the rest of your life if a have to." Logan managed a small smile before Kendall kissed him deeply. When he pulled away he sucked on his fingers. When they were wet enough Kendall pulled them out of his mouth and brought them to Logan's entrance. He waited for Logan's permission before pushing in his first finger.

Logan whimpered at the intrusion. It had been so long since they had sex it was like the first time again. When Logan finally relaxed around Kendall's finger Kendall added another. Logan bit his lip then found himself falling apart as soon as his prostate was hit. Logan arched his back and let out a loud moan. The pleasure coursing through him was so amazing he was surprised he was able to give this up for so long.

"Kendall please." Kendall pecked Logan on the lips as he pulled his fingers out. He covered his member with saliva before positioning himself at Logan's entrance. When he began pushing in Logan's head fell back against the pillow. His mouth fell open and his eyes fluttered at the sensation of being filled.

"God Logan you're so tight." Kendall waited for Logan to adjust before finally pulling back and thrusting in. Logan arched his back and let out a high pitched moan. Even after all this time Kendall still could hit his spot just right.

"Faster please!" Kendall groaned as he picked up his pace. Logan's head rolled to the side as he let out a long moan. He held onto the pillows tightly as Kendall hammered into him. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck and pulled him close. Kendall buried his face in Logan's neck as he thrust even harder jolting Logan's body.

"Kendall oh my god Kendall." When Logan scratched down Kendall's back Kendall growled and thrust harder. Logan let out a scream his voice getting higher the closer he got. When it finally became too much Logan's body tensed as he came. Kendall thrusts in a few more times as he came as well. He thrust in and out slowly before he collapsed on top of Logan.

They laid their breathing heavily for a long time. When Kendall finally caught his breath he leaned up on his elbows and smiled down at Logan who smiled back.

"I love you." Logan smiled.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>"Morning beautiful." Kendall jumped over the back of the couch and landed next to Logan. He leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Logan smiled when they pulled away from each other.<p>

"When you said you'd call me that every day I didn't think you actually meant it. It's been 6 months." Kendall shrugged his shoulders as he draped his arm over Logan's.

"Hey when I say I'm going to do something I do it. You ready to go to the pool." Logan nodded and stood up. Kendall looked at Logan up and down a big smile on his face.

"What?" Kendall chuckled and shook his head.

"Nothing… I like your swim trunks." He grabbed Logan's behind making him yelp. "It makes your butt look good."

"You're such a pig." Kendall laughed as he followed Logan out of the apartment.

"You know you love it."

**A/N: OMG DONE! This was the longest thing of my life! I'm not sure how good this ended up but I don't think it's that bad. I only have a few more things to get done until I can focus on The Way I am and Abduction. **

**I hope you enjoyed this.**

**(1): I don't own a dish washer so I was dishes by hand. I don't always do it right away so I fill the bowls or whatever it is with water so they are easier to wash when I finally get around to it.**

**(2): I saw a picture of this online and thought they looked cool.**


End file.
